The main source of my chaos...

Sunday, September 30, 2012

Our trip to Savannah

Every September, the Ariens Company (maker of the Ariens and Gravely lawn equipment that Willard sells) has a Dealer Summit in some nice location and invites the top couple of hundred dealers in the U.S. and Canada.  We've been to San Antonio, Orlando, Hilton Head (twice), Destin, and this year Savannah.  We always have a great time.  Willard goes to class and meetings all day while I relax or shop or lay out in the sun. 

We checked into our very nice hotel and this was the view from our room.
We went to dinner that night and I just knew it was gonna be a good weekend.  Not only did we have chocolate cake - Ariens had chosen "MowMentum" as this year's theme, so everything was racing-related. 
We just happened to be seated at the table with one of the big wigs with the company.  I knew that Ariens/Gravely had sponsored the Petty car at a NASCAR race earlier this year, so I asked him if Richard Petty would be our surprise speaker.  He denied it and I was bummed.

Imagine my shock when I was laying out by the pool the next day and received this text from Willard:

Then my phone rang -

WILLARD:          I'm serious.  He's here now but he is about to leave.  You better hurry!
ME:                      I'm in my swimsuit!!
(I throw on my cover-up and start walking toward the Convention Center)
WILLARD:          You don't have time to change.  They chose 25 people who get pictures and autographs and then he's out the door.
ME:                      I want a picture.
WILLARD:         Well, too bad.  They chose 25.  There's 300 people here who want a picture.
ME:                      So, you'd get really mad if I bust up in there and get a picture... I mean, what can they do?
WILLARD:         Amy.  Seriously.  You better not cause a scene.  You can stand about 25 feet to the side of him and get a picture.
ME:                     But I want a picture WITH him.
WILLARD:        I'm serious.

And as I get to the Convention Center.... Wah La!
Haha suckers.  Y'all can all stand 25 feet away and get a picture.  I'm staking out the limo.

I went in and told Willard and Jamie (a dealer/friend from Russellville) that I was uncomfortable going in the building in my swimsuit and that I would just hang out by the limo for my picture.  I thought I saw a little bit of doubt in Willard's eye, but SURELY he knows me well enough to know I was GETTING THAT PICTURE.

Told ya.
On Friday night, we had some free time, so we went to eat with our Russellville friends at a restaurant that Melissa picked out, called The Olde Pink House.  It was DEE-LISH.  I meant to take a picture of my plate, but I didn't remember it until it was gone.  Just envision a 16 oz double-boned pork chop served with Hoppin' Johns?  (if you don't know what that is - I didn't - you can google it). 
 On Saturday, I spent my morning at the pool just reading and relaxing.  After lunch, Melissa and I took the ferry back across to do a little bit of shopping. 
We made a stop at the "The Lady and Sons" gift shop, which is right next door to the restaurant.  That is Paula Deen's restaurant, of course. 

Oh hayyyy, Paula!
I bought a signed cookbook, and I CANNOT WAIT to make the Ooey Gooey Butter Cake. 
(Lookout small group members - if it turns out good, I'll bring it Sunday night)

On Saturday night, we had our big awards banquet.  As we got dressed up, I decided to try to get a nice picture of me and Willard.  Can you say impossible?? 

I screwed this one up.  I got all caught up in the duck face. 

I don't even know... wolf impression, maybe?

 There we go... much better!


There are like 300 dealers invited to this shindig.  They give awards to the dealerships who sell the most in each category, and then they give away 5 awards called "Principle" awards.  These are basically just pat-on-the-back-good-job awards, but they are cool.  Out of all the dealerships in the U.S. and Canada, to be chosen is a pretty big deal.  Guess who won one of the awards?  Yep.  Garnett's Lawn Equipment!  Go us!

It really was a nice trip.  I got plenty of rest . Willard got to compare war stories with other dealers. And we got to see the beautiful city of Savannah.  And I'm gonna bet we see her again one day!!

Friday, September 28, 2012

Happy National Siblings Day!

Oops.  I missed “National Siblings Day” so I’m doing a quick post to give my sisters a shout out. 
I’m the oldest sister, and the bossiest.  Bossy is such an ugly word.  Can’t we just say that I’m a leader? 
Lisa is the middle sister.  She’s the emotional one.  She wore her feelings on her sleeve as a child and I was always getting in trouble because I made her cry.  Could I help it she cried about EVERYTHING?
Marla is the little brother we wanted so bad.  She turned out to be an awesome little sister.  She respects my role as big sister and does exactly what I tell her to.
You KNOW it’s bad when you’re 5’8” and you’re the short, dumpy sister.  I got pregnant with Hunter, gained 50+ pounds and was never the same.  Lisa and Marla got pregnant, looked like supermodels the whole time, and wore jeans home from the hospital. 
Lisa lives about 30 minutes away so we don’t really do the clothes swap thing.   I do, however, swap clothes with Marla sometimes.  I know you’re rolling your eyes, like YEAH RIIIGHT!  But it’s true! Marla is about a size 6 but thinks she’s a 10…I’m about a size 14 but think I’m a 10.  We both buy 10s and she looks like she’s wearing a moo-moo and I look like I’m wearing spandex. 
And here’s a picture of my children and their siblings. I'm just throwing this one out there because they're so stinkin' pretty!!
Happy Siblings Day!!

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Thank you!

Thank you, thank you, thank you for voting for my blog.  I am now officially on the list of Top 25 Southern Mom Blogs for 2012.  Yay! 

Several people have asked me what the prize is... well, it's basically just recognition from the Circle of Moms website.  They will do an article on the Top 25 and spotlight all the blogs that made it, so traffic should pick up significantly on my website.  I'm feeling pressured already.  Yikes!

I did, however, get an UNEXPECTED prize.  Chellie Cole showed up at church on Sunday with a BUTTERCREAM cake that she made just for me.  How sweet is she?!?!  
It was so yummy!!

Now, I hate to be a pest, but I need ONE more favor from y'all.  I have to answer a few questions for the upcoming article, and one of the things they want me to do is list a few my personal favorite blog entries.  I'm just not good at picking out my favorites.  I mean, I wrote them.  The ones I think are going to go over well when I'm writing sometimes fall flat, and the ones that I don't think are all that good get the most attention.  So... can you go back and read some of my posts and see if anything jumps as your favorites?  If there's one or two that you particularly like, just comment on my Facebook page. 

Here are a few of the older posts that I either particular liked, or I got a lot of positive feedback about:

* How Lluri Bargas Became Yuri Garnett:

* Dear Lady at Academy

* Don't Judge Me

* Mean Girls

* Willard and the possum

All of these were from 2010 and 2011.  I didn't link up any from 2012 because I figure they're still fresh on your mind.  

Let me know which ones you like the best.  It doesn't have to be any of these either.  It can be anything I've ever posted. 

Thanks again!!! 

Friday, September 21, 2012

Uh oh!

Well, I went to bed feeling just ALMOST comfortable with my nearly 200-point lead inthe blog contest, but my competitor has pulled out the big guns.  This is serious, y'all. 

I LOVE Robin's blogs, by the way.  We have a mutual friend who "introduced" us via Facebook because she thought we had similar personalities and would appreciate each other's sense of humor.  And she was right! Robin is the reason I even went to the contest site - to vote for her.  And then I nominated myself.  Shameful, I know.  But I did vote for her once.  She's soooo stinkin' funny and REAL, and if she wins, she truly does deserve it.  Plus she's kinda famous - she wrote a book even. 

Robin has some pretty famous blog friends too, and at least one of them has tweeted to her 4000 followers this morning to vote for Robin.  I'm getting kinda nervous so I need y'all to help me out here.

In hindsight, I should have put "Roll Tide" on my profile.  Dang it.  Those two little magic words seem to be synonymous winners and champions. 

Or instead of using my picture, I should've put up a picture of the kids holding a "Vote for our Mommy" sign.  How cute would that have been. 

Voting ends today at 4 p.m.  Even if I don't win, you guys have been SO AWESOME and supporting and encouraging me through this.  It's been so much fun getting messages and updates from you.  I know your employers and laundry piles will be so glad when this contest ends so you can get back to real life. 

Oh, and ROLL TIDE!!

Thursday, September 20, 2012

Oldie, but goodie!

I found this old video from a few years ago and I just had to post about it.  Let me give you a little history about what led up to it, and then I'll comment more after you watch it.

We had a "power team" come to our church one Wednesday night.  They would break boards with their body and stuff.  Hunter (my son) and Hunter Luker (his friend) were so impressed that they decided to try it when we got home. 

Do not read any further until you watch this video.  I promise you'll laugh.  And cringe.  And be horrified.

Now.  Let's discuss.

First of all, why hasn't somebody told me how REDNECK my accent is? I mean, I know I'm a redneck, but geez... We sound like we should live next door to Honey Boo Boo. 

I think the funniest thing is Willard laughing in the background.  Maybe it's only funny if you know him.  He rarely (okay, never) lets himself get that tickled - he keeps a tight hold on any emotion that might make him appear approachable.  Not lying.  I mean, we've got lots of pretty daughters.  He has to keep up that scary dad image.  (Keep up the good work, honey)

There were only two adults present, and we were both participating in this not-so-smart experiment.  Instead of calling 911, Willard is laughing so hard he is gagging.  I had concern in my voice, but notice that it wasn't enough concern to put the video camera down.  Not my proudest parenting moment.  Sorry about that, Hunter Luker. 


On another note, if you haven't voted today, please do.  Voting ends TOMORROW at 4 p.m.

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

It's a holiday...What was I SUPPOSED to do?!?

Let’s just say the Garnett’s are big cake fans.  BIG cake fans.  I’ve been known to buy a birthday cake and make up a totally fictional name to put on it.  I try to choose really LONG names so we have more icing… Happy Birthday SAVANNAH ELIZABETH-LEANN.  I’ve really only done that once twice a few times.  Don't judge me.

When I got this email today, I knew I had a moral obligation to support this special day.

It’s not too late for you to support it either.  Publix is open until 10 p.m. and they have a bunch of cakes similar to the one I chose. 


Come on, people… don’t leave the buttercream makers hanging!

And if you just want to buy one to support the cause, but you don’t want to eat it, I know of a needy hungry friendly family who can take it off your hands.

Happy National Buttercream Day!!! 

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

So maybe I'm not a good foster parent....

It’s odd.  I have been itching to do a blog about Baby A for a while now, and then someone said something to me last night that really hit the nail on the head.  He said, “You’re not a good foster parent.  You want to keep them all”.  I laughed, because that just might be true.  I guess I haven’t quite mastered the whole “love them and then give them back” thing. 
Baby A is 11 months old today, and I picked her up directly from the hospital when she was 48 hours old.  She’s mine.  Maybe not legally.  But in my heart, and in her heart, we’re mommy and daughter.  She is attached to me like no other child ever has been.  All my other kids were fine with being left with grandparents or aunts, but my babysitting resource pool is nearly drained this go-around because Baby A isn’t usually a happy camper when I leave her.  In the nursery at church, she will scream and gag until somebody waves the white flag and comes to get me. 
I get asked several times a week, “are you keeping her?” or “are you adopting her too?”  The goal of DHR is to reunite children with their biological parents, as long as a safe environment is available.  I don’t get to choose whether or not we keep her. Do we hope to adopt her if she becomes available? You know the answer to that question.   
Believe it or not, I *am* capable of being a true foster parent. One who takes care of babies/children and then lets them go.  I’ve actually done that a few times.  Granted, those were short-term placements and I knew from the beginning that those children wouldn’t be with us very long.  But still.  Cut me some slack.  Geez. 
At some point with this baby, I transitioned from Foster Mom to Oh-my-gosh-I-will-die-if-we-lose-her Mom. 

More than anything in this world, I want to wrestle with that feisty little baby for hours every night because she fights sleep. 

I want to play Word With Friends at 2 a.m. because even when she goes to sleep, she doesn’t stay that way. 

I want to see her crinkle up that little nose and grin at me when I tell her “no-no”. 

I want to sing “Soft Kitty, Warm Kitty” over and over and over because that’s her favorite song. 

I want to watch her waddle around like a cross between Otis from “The Andy Griffith Show” and Clyde (the orangutan) from “Any Which Way But Loose”. 

I just want her. 

All 17 pounds of adorable stubbornness, on track to be the most rotten baby ever raised in the Garnett home – and believe me, we’ve raised some rotten ones --  I just want her. 

I want her, I want her, I want her.  Forever and ever.

Saturday, September 15, 2012

No Shave November - Addendum

After I posted my last blog about No Shave November, a friend of mine sent a picture.  It made such an impression on me that I just felt like I had to do an addendum.

Remember that old commercial with the fried eggs... THIS IS YOUR BRAIN.... THIS IS YOUR BRAIN ON DRUGS...  ?  Remember?

Well, this is your face....

And this is your face on NO SHAVE NOVEMBER...

I rest my case.

P.S.  Have you voted today?  If not, click the "VOTE FOR ME" badge at the top of the page.  Voting ends at 4 p.m. on Friday 9/21.  If you would all vote EVERY day, that would be awesome.  :) 

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

No Shave November - Two Thumbs Down

I would like to meet the person who dreamed up “No Shave November” and punch him right in the face.  WORST. IDEA. EVER.

Let me say that I do like a little facial hair.  I like the scruffy look and a goatee is usually a nice addition to an otherwise average face.  But full beard? Nuh-uh.  Never.  Okay, so not never. But unless your last name is Robertson (as in Willie or Jase) – never. 

I believe “No Shave November” was originally started to promote prostate cancer awareness.  Guys, it would be far more attractive if you just wore a button that said “Check your prostate”. 

The real reason behind it is just because guys don’t like to shave.  It’s a chore.  They’re taking a whole month off from something just because they don’t like it.  Unbelievable. 

Wonder how men would react if women started taking a month off from things they don’t like?

How about LAUNDRY? The absolute thorn-in-my-side is laundry.  How realistic is it to think that a woman could put down the Tide for a month… just because all her friends are doing it?  

And then there’s GROCERY SHOPPING.  I’m just not good at it.  I rarely have a list, and even when I do, I forget things.  I end up making 14 circles around the store, spending $500, and still not getting what I needed. But, if I just didn’t buy groceries for a month, nobody would allow it.  My family would advertise for a replacement mom!

Sometimes I forget to brush my teeth as soon as I get out of the shower, and so I have to go back upstairs and do it.  I don’t hate brushing my teeth, but I do despise the stairs.  Maybe to keep it simple, I’ll just give up BRUSHING MY TEETH for a month.  Unacceptable? I think so…

There are other things, I’m sure, that some women would like to give up for a month.  I’m not going there, but feel free to go there yourself.

I’d like to offer some suggestions for what *I* feel might be better options for men.  You know, if you’re just itching to give something up.

How about… SportsCenter?  Thirty days of the "Today" show instead of ESPN in the mornings.  Hmmm.

Or PlayStation/Xbox? Yes, for a whole month.  I didn’t think so.

Farting in bed? Just sayin’…

Ohhhh, I know.  The remote control!! Yes, that’s my favorite.  Ladies, can you imagine life for a month if the hubby wasn’t allowed to the touch the remote??? Weeeeee!

Now, men, I know after reading this thought provoking blog, you are absolutely swearing off the “No Shave November” trend.  I think you’ve made an excellent choice.  The women in your life thank you. 

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

September 11, 2001

Today is September 11th.  That’s a date that will forever be engraved in our minds as the one of the worst days our country has ever seen.  Definitely the WORST for our generation. 

We all remember where we were when the towers were hit.  I had dropped Karlie off at preschool and was going by my mom’s for a little while.  The first plane had already hit, and we were watching the “Today” show.  The screen behind Matt Lauer showed a live picture of the tower.  At that point, I don’t think it really crossed anybody’s mind (at least not mine and Matt’s) that this could be a terrorist attack.  I saw the second plane hit the building and it was like a physical blow to me.  I knew exactly what was going on then.  I went back home and was, like the rest of the country, glued to my T.V.  I was on the phone with Willard, asking him if I should pick up the kids early from school… were we in danger? I just didn’t know what to do.  When I saw the tower fall, and it’s hard for me to even describe it as a “fall”, because it basically crumbled right before our eyes, I couldn't even speak.  To this day, I don’t think I’ve ever felt as scared and heartbroken as I was in that moment.

It was a terrible and tragic day for the United States of America, no doubt. 

But you know what? I remember other things about 9/11 too.  I remember that in the days to follow, we became a unified country again.  Maybe it was because most of us felt hopeless being hundreds or thousands of miles away from Ground Zero, but I bet many of you did exactly what I did - you went out and bought a FLAG.  It didn’t matter if you were Democrat or Republican, Christian or non-Christian, rich or poor, black or white, gay or straight… we were all AMERICANS and we loved our country.  It was a time when the National Anthem actually made people tear up and cry.  I don’t EVER, EVER again want to see our country sucker punched like we were back then, but I would like to see a glimpse of the days and weeks that followed.  (plus, let me be honest here, Lee Greenwood got more playing time that he had in years, and that made my heart smile).
I hope you will take a minute today and remember the families of the 9/11 victims, as well as the families who have lost soldiers in the war that was a direct result of 9/11. 

Monday, September 10, 2012


Dear Mr. Police Officer,

I hope you weren’t paying much attention to my family Friday night.  My girls were the two little cute ones who yelled out “There’s the Po-Po!” as we walked by you leaving the football game.  Please ignore Gigi, who told you that “You need to give my Mommy a ticket ‘cuz she drives WAY too fast”.  And definitely disregard Yuri’s statements of “Arrest her! Just go ahead and arrest her!” They were just kidding... I promise. 

We are currently having family talks about what is appropriate and what is not appropriate to talk about. 

APPROPRIATE:              I like your shirt.

NOT APPROPRIATE:     Your belly is chubby.  Do you have a baby in there?


APPROPRIATE:              My mommy and daddy’s bedroom is upstairs.

NOT APPROPRIATE:     I’m not allowed to go in their room because they need privacy.


APPROPRIATE:              Here is my dollar for Hat Day.

NOT APPROPRIATE:     Here is my dollar for Hat Day. My mom says it’s lame. 

I can’t even type out the inappropriate comments Gigi has made about why she never wants to have a baby.  I don’t think my dad reads my blog, but just in case he ever does, I couldn’t deal with the guilt of him having a heart attack on the spot.

P.S. Don’t forget to vote!!! 


Thursday, September 6, 2012

Gigi stories...

Gigi has said some of the funniest things to me over the last few days.  Her personality cracks me up, and I figure I better blog it before I forget it.  Thank goodness for blogs and Facebook - I've never been very good with baby books and scrapbooks, etc.  If the internet ever disappears, I'm so screwed.

We went to Ryan's to eat after church on Sunday.  Okay, I know I already lost most of you.  So maybe it's not the hot spot of Decatur, but their fried chicken is DANG good.  And you never have to wait, which bumps it right up to the top of the Garnett family restaurant list. 

I noticed there were a lot of Hispanics there, mostly because I think Hispanic babies are the most beautiful in the world, and I was stalking a few of them. 

GIGI:      Mommy, why am I brown?
ME:         Because God made you that way.
GIGI:      (looks around for a second)... Brown must be God's favorite color.

When we left Ryan's, we went to Publix.  As we're checking out, the nice man who was our cashier says, "You sure are pretty!"

GIGI:      (looks at me) Is he talking to ME or you?
ME:        (nervous giggle, no eye contact with Mr. Publix) Ummm... you.
GIGI:      How come he doesn't think you're pretty too?
ME:        (geez...awkward...still not making eye contact with him) Ummm...
GIGI:      It's okay, Mommy, if you had on fancy clothes like me, he would say you are pretty too.  (she still had on her church dress)

Thanks, Gigi, for making even boring things like going to the grocery store, a true adventure!

She started to preschool this week and when I picked her up, this was the face that greeted me...

ME:      Did you have fun???
GIGI:    No! My teacher is mean. 
ME:      What? Mean? ....
GIGI:    Yes, she's mean.  She made us sit in our chairs the whole time and we couldn't play or nothin'!
ME:      (feeling disturbed but trying not to show it) Well, ummm, did you have fun with your friends?
GIGI:    No, I don't have any friends.  Nobody was nice to me. 
ME:      (rapidly progressing to panic mode, but before I could respond...)

GIGI:    APRIL FOOL'S!!!!!!!
Little monster!!!!! 

P.S.  Don't forget to vote! :)

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

My husband thinks he's a comedian...

I was at church tonight when Willard texted me.  See what I have to put up with???