The main source of my chaos...

Monday, December 30, 2013

Goodbye 2013!

As 2013 comes to an end, I started to think about a few observations I made over the year.

·        My mom has always said, “Don’t buy me gifts… if y’all are all together, that’s all I want.” I would think… bologna… but it hit me this year that that’s the truth.  Every year could potentially be the last year that my kids all wake up in my house and have Christmas morning together, and that makes me sad.  I just want us all to be together… even if it means kids are piled here and there and everywhere.


·        No matter how often I say, “I HATE WALMART”, I still find myself wandering around in there and complaining about it at least once a week.  I swear they must pump in some kind of hypnotic gas through the vents that makes us forget how much we hate it.


·        Leggings are not pants.  They’re just not, y’all.  The End.


·        Whatever medical disorder makes it impossible to stay awake past 10 p.m. is what I have. 


·        Pretty on the outside does not always mean pretty on the inside.  Some of the ugliest people I know are quite attractive to look at.


·        Magic Erasers are truly magic.  If your children ever write on your wood kitchen table with a SHARPIE (I mean, hypothetically , since my precious angel children would never do that!), a Magic Eraser will take it right off.  Amazing. Hypothetically, that is.


·        The people who claim to “hate drama” seem to always be the ones right in the middle of it.  If you have to profess your hatred for drama, then you probably don’t hate it at all. 


·        With all the non-traditional Christmas meals these days, I didn’t get to eat ham or turkey.  So now I’m wondering if nobody eats ham/turkey anymore, it is still considered traditional? In any event, I need some turkey.  Can someone help me out, please?



·        And finally…. Two statements that I’m trying to make my motto, even though sometimes I think I’m crazy….




I hope you all had a great 2013 and I hope 2014 is even better.

Roll Tide.


Tuesday, December 17, 2013

How I accidentally became a Lee Greenwood fan...

If you know me, you know I'm a Lee Greenwood fan and I'm soooo excited about his Christmas concert this Friday in Huntsville.  I am about to tell the story of how I accidentally became a fan. 

Back in 1983 or 1984¸ me and my best friend, also named Amy, begrudging went to a concert with her parents…having already decided that it would be full of old, boring people listening to old, boring music.  At the time, I was more into stuff like Michael Jackson.  Look, I was 14 and I needed to be cool... 
I don’t remember who I sat by or what we ate for supper.  I just remember when Lee Greenwood came out…


OMG.  That voice.  I was mesmerized and had never heard a voice quite like his.  For the next several years, I went to every Lee Greenwood concert that I could get to.  I must have seen him in concert at least a dozen times in the next 4 years.  I literally slept on sidewalks outside of concert venues to get front row tickets. (For you young whippersnappers, this was before the internet).  
In June of 1990, three weeks before my wedding, I won a contest on a radio station and got to spend the day at Opryland, including lunch with Lee and a concert afterwards.  I won the contest by writing a letter telling them WHY they should pick me.  I spent hours on it and ended up with an 8-page letter written in 5 different colors of ink.  Looking back, that was probably the first time anyone eluded to the fact that I might be a tad bit obsessed.  Haha.  They had no idea!

I almost didn't post pictures because it's so bad, y'all.  So bad.  No comments on hairstyle, please.  But here I am with Lee in 1990.  

A couple of years later, ON MY BIRTHDAY even, I got to meet him again.  Best birthday present ever.  

Over the next 20 years, I was still a fan but my opportunities to see Lee in concert were limited.  A couple of years ago, he came to Huntsville for some kind of benefit concert and it was hysterical how many people contacted me about tickets.  People were blowing up my phone and my Facebook with "Did you know Lee Greenwood is coming to town??" messages.  I ended up going with my three sister-in-laws and we had a blast.  I added one of his band members on Facebook and he was able to arrange a meeting for me. I got to meet him for a quick picture (which did not save on my phone...thank you, technology).  

I did KINDA get a picture of me and Lee, I guess.  Does this one count? Someone pointed out that he is cutting his eyes down at me like he's thinking, "There's that crazy chick again".  I prefer to think that it's more like, "I love her. She's such a big fan.  I wish all my fans were as great as her".  But you know, whatever.  Choose to believe whatever you want.  

And then last year, I went to Tunica and saw him there.  I was hoping for a another picture opportunity.  Unfortunately, that same band member was apparently a little freaked out by my stalker traits, craziness, intensity (yeah, intensity is a good word) and BLOCKED ME on Facebook.  Oops.  I'm pretty sure if there's a "watch list" for obnoxious Lee fans, then I'm on it.  
So, now I just listen to Lee when I can, watch for any potential upcoming sightings concerts, and follow him on Facebook and Twitter.  

So, there it is.  I'm just a normal (okay, somewhat normal) 43-year-old, married, mom of 6, who has a strange fascination with Lee Greenwood.  

When I heard about the concert this week, I arranged my schedule so that I had nothing going on the day of the pre-sale except getting tickets.  I got online at exactly 10:00 but only managed to get 3rd row.  I guess front row went to sponsors? I know, I know... 3rd row is awesome if you're an average fan.  But when you're THE BIGGEST FAN EVER, only front and center is acceptable.  I'm going to carry a pocket of money and try to buy out front row person for sure.  

Now, I need some reader participation... Can you all send positive thoughts my way? The following two things are very important:

(1) I need all my kids to be healthy on Friday.  If anybody is puking or running a fever, I'm going to be SO MAD.  

(2) I also need a Meet-n-Greet pass so I can get an updated picture of us.  If you've got connections to WDRM or WAAY-TV and can get me a pass, I would be your best friend forever.  


Sunday, December 15, 2013

Christmas Play Costume...Gone Terribly Wrong

Yuri and Gigi are in our church Christmas program tonight.  They are supposed to be horses.  The directors of the play told me not to worry too much about a costume... "we are thinking a brown sweatsuit will be fine"... sounds easy enough. 

Um no.  I couldn't find a brown sweatsuit anywhere.  So, I improvised and got black ones.  I mean, there ARE black horses, right? 

Let me take a moment to explain something.  When God handed out talents, he must've skipped me and planned to come back later.  I promise you that I am the LEAST talented person you'll ever encounter.  On a crafty scale of 1 to 10, I'm a minus 4.  For real.  So, when I started thinking about this horse costume, the only thing I could come up with was pinning some yarn to the butt of the pants to make a tail. I went to buy black yarn, but then I realized that if the sweatsuit was solid black and the yarn was black, then the tail wouldn't really show up.  So, I bought this cool yarn that is tri-colored.  It has a mixture of black, gray, and white. 

The result?

You be the judge...



All because of my epic fail in the craft department, my children will forever be remembered as the Christmas SKUNKS.

Soooo.... the program is in 3 hours.  If anyone wants to whip us up two cute horse costumes, that'd be awesome.