The main source of my chaos...

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Happy Anniversary To Us!!

24 years ago today, I woke up on my mom and dad’s couch.  Now that I think about it, that’s odd because I woke up on a couch today too… the only difference is that 24 years ago it was because we had already moved my furniture out to my new house, and today it was because my 2-year-old is rotten.  But that’s another blog. 

I remember playing in the yard with Reggie (my beloved golden retriever) and feeling so guilty that I was leaving him for a week to go on my honeymoon.  Ha….funny how things change.  Now I leave my kids for a week, and I’m like… SEE YA…MAMA NEEDS A BREAK!  But, that too, is another blog. 

The purpose of THIS blog is to celebrate 24 years of marriage with this hottie…

He's handsome... I don't care who you are!

First of all, can I just say… we were babies and I can’t believe our parents let us get married!!!   Even if I had been able to look into a crystal ball and see my future, I wouldn’t have believed it.  There are a few things in my life that I would change, but walking down the aisle on July 21, 1990, isn’t one of them.  There have been more happy times than sad times, more blessings than tragedies, and NOT ONE SINGLE episode of domestic violence.  BAM. 

We don’t live a perfect life (he’s grumpy and I tend to miss my hormone pills),  but we live a good life with lots and lots of laughter.  Is he my soul mate? Ummm… maybe… he has potential.  I wish he would take me to more NASCAR races, and he wishes stuff that I can’t post in my blog (oops… sorry, kids) but we are a pretty darn good team at controlling the chaos on New Cut Road. 

Happy 24th Anniversary to us!

Amy + Willard

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

10 Ways I Annoy My Teen Daughters....

10 Ways I Annoy My Teen Daughters – (not necessarily in order of level of annoyance)

1.      I don’t clear the microwave.  When I cook something, I open the door before it beeps (so I don’t have to hear it beep), and then I forget to clear it.  When my family tries to see what time it is, they see :01…

2.      I say “Yolo” … They think I do it just to get on their nerves, but I really like the way it sounds.   

3.      I wear my pants pulled up to my belly button.  Maybe it’s an 80s thing or maybe I’m trying to keep the muffin top inside the muffin pan.  Either way, I catch flack.

4.      My jeans are saggy in the butt.  This is a big one for Karlie.  She hates for my jeans to be saggy, but she doesn’t understand how uncomfortable tight jeans are.  I’d rather be a saggy bottom girl than have to surgically remove my underwear from my crack.

5.      My car is gross… This is more than an annoyance, it’s an embarrassment. Disgusting doesn’t even come close to describing the condition of it.  If you’re trying to picture it in your mind, just give up.  You can’t even imagine.

6.      My laugh can be annoying.  When I get really tickled, my laugh resembles that of an asthmatic hyena.  It is annoying, I’ll admit it.  And Karlie shouldn’t be too annoyed, because she laughs just like me.

7.      I have a Twitter.  Haley Rae complains about me tweeting all the time.  She gets mad when her friends follow me or retweet something of mine.  Jealous much?

8.      I’m bad to ask my kids to rate things.  If Haley is on a date with someone new, I’ll text her and say, “On a scale of 1-10, how cute is he?”.  Or after a week of dating, "On a scale of 1-10, how much do you like him?” They get really annoyed.  I don’t understand it. 

9.      Yuri and Gigi know all the words to Lee Greenwood songs.  Karlie rode to Athens with us yesterday and she was totally freaked out that they sing along with Lee Greenwood’s Greatest Hits CD.  She kept saying, “That’s just not NORMAL, Mom…”

10.  I stretch the truth about how long I’ll be gone to the grocery store.  I mean, if I need them to watch the little girls and I say, “I’ve got to go to the grocery store, the pharmacy, the post office, the library, and get my nails done…”, they’d NEVER agree to keep them. I always say, “Hey, I gotta run pick up a couple of things at Kroger.  I’ll be RIGHT back”… Suckers.