The main source of my chaos...

Friday, December 7, 2012

A Night Out with The Garnett Family

I called Willard yesterday afternoon and told him that I needed to take Haley Rae and Karlie to the mall for a little Christmas shopping.  I told him I would take Baby A and asked him if he would keep Yuri and Gigi.  He said, “Well, actually I’ve got a hankering for Rosie’s”.  (In case you don’t speak Redneck, hankering means craving).  He suggested we ALL go eat and then ALL go to the mall.  I’m panicking on the inside because I know this will not turn out well, but I agree.

As we started to leave, one of the girls asked if I had seen her Beats (headphones).  Willard’s response – “No headphones allowed tonight.  We’re singing Christmas carols!!!”  Oh, Lord. 

At first glance, this looks like Haley Rae protesting the Christmas carols. However, if you have spent any time with her at all, you know that she believes she is an extremely talented singer.  I'm not going to comment on that because I've been accused of not supporting my children's dreams.  Let's just move on. 
Within 10 minutes of leaving our house, Willard’s road rage was in full bloom.  If you’ve never witnessed it, you can’t comprehend.  I’m not even going to try to explain it.  Ask my children.  There really are no words, but the closest ones that come to mind are “psycho” and “idiot”. 
We arrived at Rosie’s and thank goodness the wait wasn’t long at all.  Thank goodness, also, that we knew the people seated at both tables closest to us…you know, just in case.  The kids were actually good in the restaurant.  Our waiter came up and said, “Hello, my name is Mark.  Can I get you guys something to drink?” Yuri points to Willard and says to the waiter, “His name is Willard and he is ONE GRUMPY MAN.”  Slightly awkward moment, but we got through it.

So, on to the mall we go.  We made our usual bathroom stop.  Are we the only family that does a photo op in public restrooms?


And, of course, we couldn’t walk by the Beibs and not say hello. 


Willard took the little ones to the play area while I suffered through an hour and a half of shopping.  I mean that.  I am not a fan.  But I tried to be a good mood and I think I did an okay job.  There were comical moments… like when Karlie yells from the fitting room – “MOM!!! You’ve GOT to take away Dad’s Twitter.  How embarrassing!!!!”

I have to agree with Karlie on this one. 

I admit I was relieved when Willard called to tell me that Yuri needed to go potty.  (We make it a family goal to visit each and every public restroom on the premises…).  That meant I could step away from the teenage girl clothes and breathe.  When I walked up to the play area, I saw Baby A with her mouth open and her tongue out walking toward a little Chinese girl.  I couldn’t see her very well, so I just hoped she didn’t bite or lick her, and then I pretended it didn’t happen.  As I got closer, I realized that she WAS indeed licking the girls face.  Licking. Her. Face.  Apparently, that's acceptable behavior in Chinese custom because the little girl's parents didn't even blink.  I looked over at Willard, hoping for an expression that mirrored my horror, but he just had a blank stare on his face.  I'm pretty sure he was mapping out the next clever tweet in his head.  Yuri, bless her, was the only one (other than myself) who seemed concerned.
"ohhhh, Baby A... don't DO that."
I have to say, I wasn’t sure this was going to be a good idea… as a matter of fact, I was pretty sure it WASN’T a good idea, but it turned out just fine.  Yes, there were moments of chaos and awkwardness and inappropriate bodily sounds, but it wouldn’t be a night out with the Garnett’s without all of that!!

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