Things you will never hear me say...

“Pass me the ketchup.”

If you’ve following my blog since the beginning, then you know I loathe ketchup.  It grosses me out to even type the word.

“Wow! I feel great. I just ran 5 miles.”

As previously discussed, I’m not a runner.  If, by some miracle, I become one, I can almost promise you I won’t feel great afterwards.  I may feel great after I remove the oxygen mask, but I doubt it. 

“My kids have a ballgame tonight, but I’m not going.”

I don’t care if I’m tired, if my house is dirty, if there’s a door buster sale at Belk’s.  Short of typhoid fever, I’m not missing anything my kids are participating in. 

“Oh, yay!  “How It’s Made” is on!“

I find this show so boring and Willard loves it.  I mean, do we really need to know how breath mints are made?  I’m thankful for them and all, but I honestly don’t care.

 “I think we’re going to skip Bristol this year.”

I actually AM probably going to miss the fall race this year, but only because Marla’s baby is due at the SAME time.  As much as I love NASCAR, I can’t risk missing the birth of what could be my last niece or nephew.  I am a little ticked at the timing though!

“It’s 28 degrees outside.  I love this weather.  I wish it would stay cold year round!”

Ridiculous.

“I don’t really feel like taking a beach trip this year.”

Even more ridiculous.

“I love Walmart.”

If I ever say this, please know that aliens have overtaken my body.    

 

“I wish we had just ONE more baby.”

Okay, I’m lying.  You could possibly catch me at a moment of weakness and really hear me say this.  Don’t judge me.  And don’t tell my mom.