The main source of my chaos...

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

My Facebook Friends

I’ve noticed that my while my Facebook friends have distinct personalities in real life, they can basically fit into a few categories on Facebook.
CATEGORY 1 – The Tell-All
You never have to worry about what this person is doing, is going to do, or has done.  It’s all spelled out on their page – where they went, who they went with, what was said, and how much they enjoyed it (or not!).  It’s all there. 
CATEGORY 2 – The Gamer
I get so annoyed by game requests.  SO annoyed.  I’ve been on FB for years and have never played Gardenville or Farmtown or whatever it’s called, and there’s about a 99.9% chance I never will.  Therefore, I most likely don’t have a plow that you can borrow.  But, I PROMISE, if I find an extra plow lying around the house, you will be the first to know.
CATEGORY 3 – The Creeper
You know this person HAS a Facebook, but they never post statuses or anything.  You would think they are never on FB except for the fact that they LIKE every single one of your posts and your pictures. 
CATEGORY 4 – The Closet Facebooker
This would be my husband, who DECLARES Facebook to be a stupid, immature waste of time.  He finds it ridiculous that adults spend so much time “goofing” off (says the man who will probably not sleep for weeks when the next Call of Duty game comes out).  For it to be such a silly waste of brain cells, I’m always surprised when I look over at night (EVERY night) and see him with the iPad camped out on my Facebook page.  He will, of course, deny this but I speak the truth.
CATEGORY 5 – The Proud Mama
This person thinks everything her child says is hysterical and clever, and cannot WAIT to post it for all to see.  She’s also disappointed and gets her feelings hurt if she doesn’t get at least 20 likes. J  (Don’t judge me.  What my kids say IS funny and more than 20 people should think so!)
CATEGORY 6 – The Super Model Wannabe
You know who I’m talking about.  If you can describe your Facebook friend’s bathroom, then you know she’s your Category 6, because she’s ALL THE TIME snapping pictures of herself with the toilet or the bathroom mirror in the background.  And she posts it like it was a random quick shot of herself that she took on her way out the door…. we ALL know that she probably took at least a dozen pictures and deleted them until she found the most flattering one. 
CATEGORY 7 – The  Soapboxer
I swear this person walks around just LOOKING for something to fuss about.  Every stinkin’ week, it’s something.  Negativity on steroids!  If you have a problem with somebody or some THING, then do something about it.  Address the source of your frustrations head on. Don’t just keep the FB world stirred up all the time.
CATEGORY 8 – The One Who Can’t Take a Hint               
Hypothetically speaking, if you friend request me and I don’t answer, like for months, and so you delete your Facebook account and create a new one and friend request me again, and I still don’t accept.  Ummm.  Dude, take the hint.  Hypothetically, of course. 
CATEGORY 9 – The Magnum P.I. 
This is the person – heck, I’ll admit it, I am this category.  If I read about somebody getting arrested, I look ‘em up on FB.  If I hear somebody is sick, I look ‘em up on FB.  If someone applies for a job with me, I’m looking ‘em up on FB before I even read their resume.  If my kids mention a new person who might be a potential boyfriend/girlfriend in the future… you got it.  I have to admit, you can tell a lot more about a teen by reading their Twitter though.  Most of the teens these days know that their grandma is on FB, so they keep it cleaned up.  But their Twitter… geez Louise.  That’s a whole other blog.  Don’t even get me started. 
There are probably many more categories.  Feel free to comment and share you own category ideas.  I think most of us fall in at least one of the categories above… maybe even a combination of them.  I’m personally a combination of 1, 5, 7, and 9.   What are you? 


  1. Hi! I've just discovered your blog via Circle of Moms/Robin's Chicks, and you are hilarious! I've been a Creeper, minus the obsessive likes, but lately I've tried to share more to elevate beyond the Creeper status! Thanks for the laughs!