(This is not fiction – all things mentioned below happened in the past 24 hours)
My Gigi story –
ME: Babies, mommy HAS to finish payroll so you need to watch TV in your room. Try not to bother me for just a little while, PLEASE.
(5 minutes later…)
GIGI: Guess what, Mommy!?!? You pee-pee, you don’t need help… you poo-poo, you need help. I hadda pee-pee. I didn’t poo-poo. You pee-pee, you don’t need help. I didn’t poo-poo. I wiped myself. But your toilet paper didn’t work. So I wiped myself with Sloan’s shorts.
Nice. Sloan was so excited.
My Yuri story –
We were driving down the road this morning and a deer jumped RIGHT out in front of me. This, by the way, happens all the time. Any of you deer hunters out there who want to kill a deer just need to ride shotgun with me. Anyway, so I slam on the brakes. (And yes, I know you aren’t supposed to swerve or slam on brakes, but it’s just instinct!)
YURI: MOMMM! Why you always try to kill animals???
ME: I don’t!
YURI: Yes, you do. You ran over a rabbit last morning. And you killed a bird with your car.
ME: Well, yeah, okay. They need to stay out of my way.
YURI: Now that bird is in HEAVEN. How long before he can come back?
ME: Ummm. Well, once you go to Heaven, you don’t come back. You get to stay and live with Jesus forever.
YURI: Is the bird’s momma in Heaven?
ME: She might be.
YURI: Is the bird’s teacher in Heaven?
ME: Ummm… probably.
YURI: What if he changes his mind and wants to come back?
ME: Oh, listen… I love this song. (I was trying to change the subject but she didn’t fall for it)
YURI: When am I going to Heaven?
ME: When you die. But that will be a long time from now.
YURI: How do you know?
ME: I just know. (what would YOU say???)
YURI: Will Jesus have a SpongeBob blanket?
ME: I… I doubt it.
YURI (in her whiney voice): But WHY??? I want to take my SpongeBob blanket!!
Luckily for me, we reached our destination and she got distracted. While I seriously doubt Jesus has a SpongeBob blanket, I think I’ll tell her that he *might*. That word always seems to pacify their questions. You never know… He might!
|The fam... Gigi's eyes were closed, but it's nearly impossible to get a glam shot of everybody at the same time. Haley Rae and Karlie have veto power, so they delete anything that's not flattering to them.|