Dear Jaclyn Smith,
I am so disappointed. I thought we were friends. I’ve been wearing your clothes for years because they’re made for real women, but then I tried on swimsuits. Obviously whoever modeled these suits as they were being designed did not have an issue with the muffin top or the inner tube belly. As I tried said swimsuits on, I realized it will be months (maybe years) before I can eat Kielbasa sausage without thinking about this experience. That’s because it looked like I took a couple of packs of Kielbasa and wrapped it around my waist before I put the swimsuit on. Sigh. As a woman with certain problematic areas, I would have been happy to model these suits before you produced them in masses. I mean, that’s what friends are for.