A Christmas tree in NOVEMBER???

I woke up yesterday morning (at 4:30… thanks, Aubree) and declared yesterday to be a day of rest. It started out quite nice.  I caught up on some of the stuff I had DVR’d and basically just relaxed.

Then, around 11 a.m., Karlie woke up and walked into the den….

KARLIE:                                 Let’s put up the Christmas tree!

ME:                                        Have you lost your mind? It’s NOVEMBER!

Note –The earliest I have EVER put up a tree is December 9th.  The latest is December 18^th.  It comes down approximately 30 minutes after the last present is opened on Christmas morning. I know, I know… you all hate me now.  I’m a terrible person… blah, blah.

Anyway, I don’t know what happened.  Turkey overload, weak moment, peer pressure…in any event, I agreed. 

We started by rearranging the den furniture, which is always risky.  Willard has serious OCD issues about things getting moved around, you know.  His recliner has been in the same spot for 20 years.  We had just gotten the furniture moved when he turned in the driveway. 

ME:                                        Dad is going to freak.  He’ll be like “Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!”

KARLIE:                                 He’ll be fine.

Willard walks in the back door….

“WHOA! WHOA! WHOA!”

KARLIE:                                 Oh my gosh…. That’s exactly what Mom said you’d say!!

He complained and was so unsettled that he couldn’t even eat lunch at home, so he left to get lunch at the store. He never even CONSIDERED the idea that we were moving furniture to make room for a TREE.  He knows me as well as I know him, and the idea of me putting up a Christmas tree on November 28^th was ludicrous. 

Well, as ludicrous as it sounded, that’s exactly what happened.  Without too awful much trouble (except when I yelled out something about tree lights being straight from Satan), Karlie and the little girls helped me get the tree up in record time. 

Once it was done, I remembered that I actually enjoy sitting around a lighted tree at night.  

Now, I guess you've noticed, it's not the fanciest tree in the world.  It's not color coordinated and it sure wouldn't win any of those decorating contests that I see on Facebook.  It's a family tree.  Every ornament on it was either given to us, made by one of the kids, or has sentimental value. 

This ornament is from 1988.  Momar got it engraved at Wal-Mart.  It hung on her tree for 2 years and then when we got married, she passed it on to us.  

  

This is the ornament we got for Hunter on his first Christmas in 1992. 

This is the ornament Karlie made for me in kindergarten. 

This one was given to us by my friend, Angie Blankenship....aka "the ornament lady".  It was our first Yuri/Gigi ornament. 

And here's the family ornament.  We got it in 2011, right after we got Aubree in foster care.  I really struggled with whether to choose an ornament with 5 kids or 6 kids.  At that point, we had no idea if we would have her a few months or forever.  Aubree wasn't her birth name but it was a close variation and we thought we might call her that.  So glad I included her on it.  

DISCLAIMER: You might notice that there are no pictures of Haley Rae's first ornament or any of her homemade ornaments.  That's because when she was about 12 years old, she declared them all "lame" and destroyed them. Hard to imagine, I know.  But true story.  

Am I glad I put our tree up in NOVEMBER and do I vow to make this a new tradition? Now let's don't get carried away.  So far, I'm enjoying it though. 

Roll Tide, y'all.  

I'm baaccck!

I’m baaccck!  Sorry for the dry spell.  I had someone ask me last week if I stopped blogging because my life was no longer chaotic.  Uh, no.  That would not be an accurate statement.  It’s a crazy, crazy life – I kid you not – but it’s a different kind of crazy lately.  I'm doing some new stuff in addition to my family and my job.  It's a bit time consuming, but very fulfilling.  I'm going to blog all about it soon.  

But back to the family life - 

For the first time since Hunter was 6 years old, we have gone 5 months without anybody in our family playing an organized sport.  Karlie didn’t play volleyball this year, the little girls didn’t sign up for basketball.  We’ve actually been HOME in the evenings – what a concept!  The downside is that I have to cook every night.  The upside is that I can put kids in the tub at 6:30 and have them in bed by 7:30.  That’s working well for Yuri and Gigi.  We don’t even need to discuss Aubree’s sleeping habits.  There seriously needs to be scientific study done on that child. 

Speaking of Aubree, she is totally addicted to “Peppa Pig”.  It’s a pretty cute cartoon….in moderation.  We basically watch it 24/7, though and it’s becoming unbearable for me.  The fact that Willard is beginning to speak with a British accent, Aubree is ending all her sentences with an “oink”, and calling me “Mommy Pig” tend to make me think we have a problem. 

More Garnett family updates to come… so stay tuned!

Regarding My Future...

Me and Willard ate the Asian Buffet this week.  When our fortune cookies came, he opened his and handed it to me to read because he’s old and blind and can’t see the small print. 

His fortune said: A blonde from afar has something interesting for you. 

Hmmmph. 

I opened mine and it was empty.  I said, “Oh, great.  I have NO future and you’re going to hook up with a new blonde.  Hope she likes kids”.

In a miraculous save, without missing a beat, he says… (in his most countrified accent)…

“No, no.  You don’t understand.  You ARE the blond.  You’re so smokin’ hot you MUST’VE come from a far.”

Hahahahahaha. 

Now, if you’re Southern, you totally got it the first time you read it.  If you didn’t, read his comment out loud in a redneck accent. 

Bless his heart.

Keeping It Real ...

One night last week I asked Gigi to sweep the kitchen floor while I cleaned up supper dishes.  She’s sweeping right along… sweep, sweep, sweep…when she suddenly stops. 

“Mommy! Is that brownie or poop in the floor?”

Do you think I said –

(a)    “I’m sure it’s brownie.  Unless it’s poop.  Either way, it’s got to be cleaned up.”

(b)   “Let me see… sniff…It’s brownie.  Now sweep.”

(c)    “Oh my goodness!! There’s no way there’s POOP in my kitchen floor.  How could you even think such a thing??”

Hint: The answer is not “c”. 

Keeping it real, folks.  Just keeping it real. 

 

Behind the scenes... Block Party 2014

The 15^th Annual Community Block Party at Danville Baptist Church is tomorrow night.  It’s absolutely the most exhausting and most exhilarating weekend of the year for me. 

The basis of the party is GRACE, so everything is free.  Everything.  Hamburgers, hotdogs, snow cones, funnel cakes, cotton candy, popcorn, drinks… all free.  School supplies… free.  A gymnasium cram packed full of every imaginable yard sale item you can think of, enough clothes to clothe a village, furniture… totally free.  Live music, great door prizes, games for kids, fireworks… Yep, free.  All you have to do is show up.  

So, there you go.  You’re invited!  It’s fun and you don’t want to miss it!

Now I want to talk about what goes on behind the scenes. 

This is the single biggest mission/ministry project our church does.  It’s huge and it’s a lot of work.  The sheer size of it sets it apart from anything else we do, but what makes it special for me is what I see happening WITHIN the church during this weekend. 

We are a typical church.  We don’t all get along all the time.  Heck, some of us don’t get along ANY of the time.  If our pastor hasn’t rubbed you the wrong way at least once, then you haven’t been here very long (Hi, Bro. Jack).  We disagree about what kind of services to have…. traditional or contemporary.  We can’t all agree on music… some people think it’s too loud and some think the louder the better.  We can’t agree on Sunday night service… some people love the idea of small groups in home settings and some people think if you’re not physically sitting on a pew, then it’s not church.  You get the picture.  We’re all different and no matter how hard Bro. Jack and the rest of the staff try to please everybody, it simply cannot be done. 

But then Block Party week arrives and something magical happens.  Everybody forgets what they were mad about. It’s like all the excuses and pettiness fall away and everybody just shows up to work.  All the cliques disappear and you find 22-year-olds working side by side with 72-year-olds. There will be 200+ church members decked out in red t-shirts working together to show GRACE to our neighbors.  It is a beautiful, beautiful thing.  I know Block Party is about taking a day to love on others, but without even realizing it, we are loving on each other too. 

Jesus loves the Block Party, and so do I!



Happy Anniversary To Us!!

24 years ago today, I woke up on my mom and dad’s couch.  Now that I think about it, that’s odd because I woke up on a couch today too… the only difference is that 24 years ago it was because we had already moved my furniture out to my new house, and today it was because my 2-year-old is rotten.  But that’s another blog. 

I remember playing in the yard with Reggie (my beloved golden retriever) and feeling so guilty that I was leaving him for a week to go on my honeymoon.  Ha….funny how things change.  Now I leave my kids for a week, and I’m like… SEE YA…MAMA NEEDS A BREAK!  But, that too, is another blog. 

The purpose of THIS blog is to celebrate 24 years of marriage with this hottie…

He's handsome... I don't care who you are!

 

First of all, can I just say… we were babies and I can’t believe our parents let us get married!!!   Even if I had been able to look into a crystal ball and see my future, I wouldn’t have believed it.  There are a few things in my life that I would change, but walking down the aisle on July 21, 1990, isn’t one of them.  There have been more happy times than sad times, more blessings than tragedies, and NOT ONE SINGLE episode of domestic violence.  BAM. 

We don’t live a perfect life (he’s grumpy and I tend to miss my hormone pills),  but we live a good life with lots and lots of laughter.  Is he my soul mate? Ummm… maybe… he has potential.  I wish he would take me to more NASCAR races, and he wishes stuff that I can’t post in my blog (oops… sorry, kids) but we are a pretty darn good team at controlling the chaos on New Cut Road. 

Happy 24^th Anniversary to us!

 

Amy + Willard



10 Ways I Annoy My Teen Daughters....

10 Ways I Annoy My Teen Daughters – (not necessarily in order of level of annoyance)

 

1.      I don’t clear the microwave.  When I cook something, I open the door before it beeps (so I don’t have to hear it beep), and then I forget to clear it.  When my family tries to see what time it is, they see :01…

2.      I say “Yolo” … They think I do it just to get on their nerves, but I really like the way it sounds.   

3.      I wear my pants pulled up to my belly button.  Maybe it’s an 80s thing or maybe I’m trying to keep the muffin top inside the muffin pan.  Either way, I catch flack.

4.      My jeans are saggy in the butt.  This is a big one for Karlie.  She hates for my jeans to be saggy, but she doesn’t understand how uncomfortable tight jeans are.  I’d rather be a saggy bottom girl than have to surgically remove my underwear from my crack.

5.      My car is gross… This is more than an annoyance, it’s an embarrassment. Disgusting doesn’t even come close to describing the condition of it.  If you’re trying to picture it in your mind, just give up.  You can’t even imagine.

6.      My laugh can be annoying.  When I get really tickled, my laugh resembles that of an asthmatic hyena.  It is annoying, I’ll admit it.  And Karlie shouldn’t be too annoyed, because she laughs just like me.

7.      I have a Twitter.  Haley Rae complains about me tweeting all the time.  She gets mad when her friends follow me or retweet something of mine.  Jealous much?

8.      I’m bad to ask my kids to rate things.  If Haley is on a date with someone new, I’ll text her and say, “On a scale of 1-10, how cute is he?”.  Or after a week of dating, "On a scale of 1-10, how much do you like him?” They get really annoyed.  I don’t understand it. 

9.      Yuri and Gigi know all the words to Lee Greenwood songs.  Karlie rode to Athens with us yesterday and she was totally freaked out that they sing along with Lee Greenwood’s Greatest Hits CD.  She kept saying, “That’s just not NORMAL, Mom…”

10.  I stretch the truth about how long I’ll be gone to the grocery store.  I mean, if I need them to watch the little girls and I say, “I’ve got to go to the grocery store, the pharmacy, the post office, the library, and get my nails done…”, they’d NEVER agree to keep them. I always say, “Hey, I gotta run pick up a couple of things at Kroger.  I’ll be RIGHT back”… Suckers.